


Erinaceinae

by Daxiefraxie



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Bittersweet, F/F, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29711469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daxiefraxie/pseuds/Daxiefraxie
Summary: Namine wavered, rocking forward and backward inches at a time. "I just want to grab you so tight and hold you and never let go.""Then, why don't you?" Xion smiled, trying to fill the expression with all the words she couldn't find how to say. "I wouldn't mind that."Short, bittersweet Namixi scene.
Relationships: Naminé/Xion (Kingdom Hearts)
Kudos: 10





	Erinaceinae

Xion ran her thumb across Namine's palm. The artist's hands were worn and calloused, covered in little scars and flecks of color. Something like a dozen unfinished drawings and paintings lined the walls of Namine's little studio apartment, and Xion could spy a canvas tucked behind the couch they were both sitting on – some sort of secret project, or something she was too ashamed to show?

"I think I might be a bad person," Namine admitted.

Xion blinked. "What?"

"Or, maybe, bad at being a person." She reached up with her other hand, slipping a bit of hair behind one ear. Xion watched every motion, found her eyes glued to her. "I've been thinking about...about us. You and me."

Her heart was a thunderstorm. A panicked song of a thousand aching beats, each louder than the next. Xion swallowed her fear. "Are we breaking up?"

Namine blanched, shaking her head so hard Xion was worried she'd get whiplash. "No! No, no, I mean..." She looked down at Xion's hands holding hers. "I don't want to. I don't want to lose you, I feel like I want to be with you forever." Namine wavered, rocking forward and backward inches at a time. "I just want to grab you so tight and hold you and never let go."

"Then, why don't you?" Xion smiled, trying to fill the expression with all the words she couldn't find how to say. "I wouldn't mind that."

"It's bad," Namine said, quickly, sending a glare towards Xion that knocked the smile off her face.

"It's bad to want to hug your girlfriend?" Xion spluttered.

"It's bad to...I don't know." Namine looked away, frustrated. And Xion waited. Waited for Namine to pull her hand back, or flinch away in anger or disgust; but she didn't. "We were both trained by the Organization, right? To do what we're told. We're good at that."

Xion nodded, silent. She couldn't help but shiver a little at the mention. Thinking back again on her role, her _purpose_ since her inception. Obedience towards a singular end. No room for a girl who simply wanted to exist. "I was supposed to collect hearts. That's all I was made to do." She took a quick breath to steady herself. "But that's not who I am now. That's not who you are. We're our own people."

"Killing heartless and brainwashing someone isn't the same thing," Namine whispered. She closed her eyes, rocking back and forth, back and forth. "I have the power to manipulate memories, and I was trained how to use it on Sora and those close to him." A smile, skewed and awful. "You came from Sora, originally. I could...it wouldn't be hard. I can't forget how to do it, I tried so hard to forget, I'm sorry, I wish I could. But as long as you stay around me...there's always a chance. If I lose control, even for a second, I could reach into your head and twist it. I could hurt you."

If it was anyone else, Xion probably would have felt scared. Losing her autonomy was just about the second worst thing she think of, after losing the girl she loved. "Hey," she said, and moved her right hand off Namine's to reach up, press it to the artist's cheek. "How long do you think it takes to summon a Keyblade?"

Namine's eyes fluttered open, perplexed, saline overflowing with every blink.

"Less than a second." Xion shifted her right hand over, a loose grip on the air over the floor. She willed Kingdom Key come, and it shimmered into existence in the span of a breath. And another will, and the Keyblade vanished, but Xion kept her mimic grip. Moving her hand over, careful and precise, until the imaginary blade was pointed directly at Namine's chest. Then, she dropped her hand. "So, you trust me not to stab you if we get in an argument, right? And I trust you not to brainwash me."

Namine blinked at her girlfriend. "But you haven't..." She bit back whatever she'd wanted to say, almost deflating. "I can't change your mind, can I?"

"I dunno, I'm pretty stubborn." Xion laughed, a little, and she found a little smile making its way onto Namine's face. "And I love you."

Namine shuddered, like she could barely hold herself in. "Is it," she began, before Xion could say a word, "okay to be selfish, with someone like you? Someone wonderful."

"Of course," Xion whispered. She didn't know what to do. Didn't know the right words to fix this. "I _want_ you to be more selfish sometimes. I know you like making me happy, but I like making you happy too."

A nod, and a shaky exhalation. "Could you...hold me? You make me feel safe, and I'm still scared of...of ruining this, of hurting you." Namine smiled, and shuddered out a sob. "I love you so fucking much, and I never want to hurt you."

She didn't say a word. She didn't need to. Xion just tugged on Namine's hand, ever so gently, escorting her into the Replica's arms. She didn't even make it all the way. As soon as Xion's hand brushed against her back, Namine all but collapsed, burying her face in Xion's neck, a sob in every breath. Xion pulled her girlfriend close, one hand tangling in Namine's hair, as the artist grabbed onto Xion's shirt like she couldn't handle being any farther away.

"I love you," Xion whispered. "I love you."

"Please," Namine begged, "stay. Stay with me."

"I will. I promise I will." Xion pressed a kiss to Namine's forehead. "Always."

**Author's Note:**

> Felt like writing Namixi but my brain said "you are an angry and unlikable person and everything you touch will turn miserable" so we settled on a bitter trauma scene with some sweetness in there too.


End file.
